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All reviews - Movies (306) - TV Shows (14) - Games (4)

They got the title right

Posted : 4 years, 4 months ago on 22 September 2013 12:26 (A review of Disaster Movie)

You won't find many 0 or 1/10 ratings from me, but 'Disaster Movie' has just earned a big fat 0, the worst movie I've ever seen

What a crappy movie! Got the title right; bad story, bad directing, bad acting, wanted to stop but also wanted to see what else would happen, I only liked one scene in the movie; the part where Hannah Montana got crushed by the asteroid and revealed to be Miley Cyrus, hated the rest and I certainly think 'Disaster Movie' deserved all rotten (but I’m not gonna give the positive critic abuse)

While 'Epic Movie' was terrible, it was a lot better than this, it may have featured obnoxious spoofs of Willy Wonka making candy with humans and making Harry Potter look much older but at least it featured nothing that was done here

Honestly, they completely ruined the characters; The Enchanted Princess says she actually LIVES in the sewers (as opposed to living in a fairy animated world) and does many way beyond obnoxious things, Juney lets out her baby and breast milk at people, Kung-Fu Panda is a man in an outfit and he looks very creepy, his role is fighting Calvin and the Enchanted Princess then killing them with a katana and Alvin and the Chipmunks attack them and eat Juney's flesh.  

Completely sexist and stupid (The Enchanted Princess ate glass when there was nothing else to eat and shows the audience her bloody teeth, she also walked on hurting glass shoes) and Juney lets out her baby so its foot goes in someone's mouth

Only an idiot would think 'Disaster Movie' was worth making, 'The Love Guru' is also terrible but a lot better, anyway 'Disaster Movie' is a lot worse than 'Epic Movie', the worst movie ever made and is absolutely not worth a look at all even if you loved 'Scary Movie' (unless you want to see how bad it is), I can't believe Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer still make movies!

Hannah Montana getting crushed gets it 3/100, 0.03 is closer to 0 than 1 so that's my rating


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Sometimes funny but bland and boring

Posted : 4 years, 4 months ago on 22 September 2013 12:04 (A review of Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger!)

I saw this one in the cinema. The film had its moments (such as the pregnant balloon) but was also rather boring and rather poorly acted, don't even watch it if you are a huge David Tennant fan or if you have young kids

Note: The theme is too adult and rude to get a U certificate, it should be a PG for irresponsible behaviour, farting humour and infrequent adult themes

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5 writers came up with this???

Posted : 4 years, 4 months ago on 21 September 2013 05:36 (A review of The Little Rascals)

Did you know it can take about 6 writers to write one of the worst movies ever? (I haven't seen 'Movie 43' which is considered one of the worst and was written by 19 people)

I saw 'The Little Rascals' on DVD, most of the Rotten Tomatoes users enjoyed it but I thought it would be bad and it was indeed terrible, the kids are so irritating and rude to each other

I guess I'm not really the target audience but I'm sure that 'The Little Rascals' will only entertain the tiny infants, the story is completely boring, the jokes are stupid and the acting is awful!!! It looked awful and the whole thing was just so bad and embarrassing to watch, the only reason it doesn’t get the lowest score is because it’s a movie for kids but even though it’s completely worthless, to conclude, I didn’t like 'The Little Rascals' at all and I don’t think it is worth a look at all even if you have kids under 3 (just show them anything made by Pixar)

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The story gets a little old but it is also clever

Posted : 4 years, 4 months ago on 21 September 2013 05:10 (A review of Groundhog Day)

The first time I watched this, I thought it was boring and overrated, however because everyone enjoyed it, I watched it again 6 months later and actually I know what people think is the best thing: the same thing happening with a slight difference, I didn’t think it was so bad so I changed my rate, it’s a good movie and even though there are better movies than this but is worth a look if you like Bill Murray and/or Andie MacDowell

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Well done again James Cameron

Posted : 4 years, 4 months ago on 21 September 2013 12:01 (A review of Avatar)

After watching Titanic, I wanted to watch this since it overtook Titanic as the highest grossing movie worldwide (and is only the second highest grossing adjusted for inflation), it was intense but also really well done, well animated, nicely acted, great story, a great movie and definitely worth a look

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Not epic

Posted : 4 years, 4 months ago on 21 September 2013 10:37 (A review of Epic Movie)

Since everyone was saying horrible things about 'Epic Movie', I expected very little, I liked when I was 12, but now, I hate it, it doesn’t merit an Oscar nomination at all

'Discover what it takes to survive an epic movie' Well at the end the four protagonists are crushed by Captain Jack Swallows's wheel I guess that was pretty funny but not much else is funny, of course Willy was rather obnoxious (and also a rather weak villain), as was the Harry Potter spoof

Despite (mostly) well cast, the film was crude, sexist and mostly unfunny (at least it isn’t as horrible as Disaster Movie) also the story, directing, acting was rather poor

To conclude, I hate 'Epic Movie' and it isn’t worth a look at all

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I'd rather watch 'Barney & Friends'

Posted : 4 years, 4 months ago on 21 September 2013 10:31 (A review of Fred: The Movie)

I used to like Fred when I was 11 now I hate it! THEY CALL THIS A COMEDY???!!! I hate Fred, I hate this movie! He's an annoying, childish, unfunny character! Even five seconds would be ahhhhhhhhhhh and this movie's 83 minutes!

Very, very, very big mistake, the story was completely boring, the entire story was just Fred trying to find his girlfriend Judy as well as avoiding his rival Kevin – THAT’S ALL!!! Funny in its badness.

Fred is at least ten times as annoying as The Annoying Orange in his five minute videos but an 83 minute movie with stupid, horrible, boring, gross, irritating crap? To that I say “ha” oh and “no, completely unbearable”

The jokes were pathetic! If I were an alcoholic, I would’ve laughed hysterically at it, the only funny thing was that it’s very unfunny! It was so awful…and they made two sequels!!!

If you’re wondering who Fred is, he is an annoying internet celebrity created and played by Lucas Cruikshank, his YouTube series is unbearable but his movie is worse, the reason it was a box office bomb was because it’s a 12A, it got a 12A because it contains behavior that would be dangerous if copied, quite right, no one should act or behave like Fred, a year later, I watched 'Fred: The Movie' again to make my mind up and the result was…TERRIBLE!!! Again! Crap and not much else, it should really be called Dread: The Movie.

'Fred: The Movie' doesn’t touch the top of the laughter, it doesn’t reach half-way of the laughter, it’s near the bottom of the laugh meter, the film rips off 'Alice In Wonderland' with its “dis-invitations” and the dancing from 'Saturday Night Fever' with gross humor and bad acting, it’s hard to believe that Pixie Lott would start her film career with a really crappy movie, THIS FILM WASN’T EVEN NOMINATED FOR A SINGLE RAZZIE AWARD – not even Worst Picture!

If you ask me it should have won as well as many of the actors but Lucas Cruikshank takes the cake by playing the most annoying character in the world (although The Cat In The Hat comes a close second), there is only one funny scene in the whole film – Fred going through the car wash, if 'Fred: The Movie' were one minute long, it may work but in an 83 minute film, it just doesn’t work, no it doesn’t, not at all, not a little bit, not a tiny bit, not a teeny tiny bit.

To conclude, apart from the one scene with the car wash (which I mentioned earlier), the whole thing is complete torture to watch, and you should just avoid it, I can't think of any more than one good thing this showed us! Ugh! I can't believe it got two sequels!!!


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Up there with Toy Story and WALL-E

Posted : 4 years, 4 months ago on 21 September 2013 09:19 (A review of How to Train Your Dragon)

Less than a week ago, I received the DVD for my birthday, yesterday, I watched it
It wasn’t so good until the middle, the dragon fighting scene is so awesome and there was a fine voice cast, the film is up there with some of Pixar’s best films and is a must see for any fan of animated movies

NOTE: This is my first Listal review

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